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Changes

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If you haven’t noticed from my previous posts, I’m an emotional spender. I don’t spend because it’s necessary…on the contrary, I hate spending on items such as clothing and medication. I spend my money because I’m trying to fill a void and/or soothe an extreme emotion. It’s the same thing as my emotional eating. If I’m happy, I’ll buy fast food. If I’m sad, I’ll buy fast food in large quantities for a week. If I’m bored, it’s junk food until something more interesting comes along.  I know that I should eat healthy, but for what? Because it’s the right thing to do? Because it’s going to come back and haunt me (probably in the form of disease)?

I think with my spending, it’s dealing with perfectionism. I’m definitely in a quarter life crisis (and so is my husband). I wake up every morning with the thought of “Is this it?”. I find myself mourning the fact that I’m getting older, and seemingly not doing anything with my life outside of working for someone else. I miss the freedom of being in college, of waking up every day with no real responsibilities. To cope, I spend mindlessly to keep myself busy. I don’t have the notion to save, because what am I saving for? A rainy day? Not real enough to motivate me. A vacation some far off day that will only serve as a reminder when I return from it that I hate working 9-5 everyday for someone else?

Nah. My history shows that I take the instant gratification road instead.

It’s frustrating, because I know what I should be doing. But if I’m anything, I’m persistent. I began this blog as another attempt to try to change the way I handle my finances. But in order to change my mentality regarding finances, I also have to change my mentality regarding the other areas of my life.

Here are the goals I’d like to work on this month starting today:

–        Work out 15 times before the July 1st (this could be walking, jogging, yoga, anything that keeps me moving)

–        Track and stay within my WW Points for two weeks straight.

–        Write 100 words daily for my 2nd novel (yes, I published one on Amazon last year and am trying to write the second one faster)

–        Bring breakfast and lunch to work every day for two weeks.